so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
