She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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