I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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