time to smoke my breakfast
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
