at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
