NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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