Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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