that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
