but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
