Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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