What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
