I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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