Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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