Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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