That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
