she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
