Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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