her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So vagazzling was a success
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
