Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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