I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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