She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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