Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You need Xanax blowdarts
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
