I faked an abortion last night.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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