So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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