the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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