Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
