people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
