I think i peed on brittanys purse
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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