Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
