so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
