We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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