my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
