i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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