We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
