oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
