Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
