Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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