Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
