I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
