I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
