After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
