he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
There are leaves in my underwear?
we should paint friendship bongs
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