At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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