you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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