Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
