420 ftw
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
