So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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