how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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