Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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