i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
